Post your favourite joke! Keep it clean and PC!

I thought I'd post this here. It made me chuckle.

Q. Why are fish so smart?

A. Because they swim in schools

TV Advert….Direct Cremations have a money back guarantee!

Yesterday radio 4 someone said "we need to put our foot on the gas pedal about global warming"

Again, radio4 yesterday, " well, in a nutshell, transgender….."

How much does a rainbow weigh?


Not much, it’s pretty light

Whilst driving home the other day
I encountered a common phenomenon
I was heading along the motorway
And found my goddam brakes had gone

So I calmly called the boys in blue
To perform their service front ‘n back
Alert the rozzer bumper squad
Save my Soul with a wee T-pac

They were there in an instant
Slowed me down to a crawl
Then asked for donations
For the annual Fuzz ball

I said that’s ridic’lous
Are you guys on the make ?
That’s why I was arrested
‘Cos I asked for a brake

Never criticise your wife’s choices, after all you were one of them.