Joke thread

[siteguru]

There's a flaw in that joke ... Sergeants are never addressed as Sir as they're not commissioned officers, they're non-coms.

 

[MG Clive]

 

[T1 Terry]

I have a friend who is an amateur opera singer.
It’s his birthday soon…
but what can you get for a tenor these days?

T1 Terry

 

[OriginalBigAl]

I have a friend who is an amateur opera singer.
It’s his birthday soon…
but what can you get for a tenor these days?

T1 Terry

About half a kilo of bass.

 

[salty]

 

[T1 Terry]

Running is a great way to meet new people!

Yesterday I met two ambos, a paramedic, three nurses and a cardiologist.

T1 Terry

 

[T1 Terry]

 

[salty]

Note, the British Edition bit, are they trying to say summut.

 

[siteguru]

If he's the Lack of Action Man, why does he have what looks like a skateboard?

 

[MG Clive]

If he's the Lack of Action Man, why does he have what looks like a skateboard?

It might look like a skateboard, but it's actually a little ironing board.

 

[Archev]

It might look like a skateboard, but it's actually a little ironing board.

What’s an ironing board ?

 

[Archev]

I got a lovely Father’s Day card
But I’m at a loss as to what my Daughter means by it

 

[MG Clive]

Reminds me of this one @Archev

 

[Archev]

I got a lovely Father’s Day card
But I’m at a loss as to what my Daughter means by it
View attachment 37441

I’ve had a few tyres go flat but never a ulent

 

[salty]

 

[Archev]

View attachment 37459

They misheard the call for ruthless efficiency apparently

 

[Everest]

 

[MG Clive]

Ha ha, how do you escape from a Dalek . . . . Go upstairs.

 

[Archev]

I take it they were DVs - Downstairs Vehicles then ?

 

[Archev]

Ha ha, how do you escape from a Dalek . . . . Go upstairs.

I’ve always wanted to cover one in Veet, wave my arms about and shout “EXFOLIATE”.