Joke thread

[chowbenter]

 

[Archev]

View attachment 39764

One of the best yet classic

 

[MG Clive]

 

[MG Clive]

 

[Everest]

Help... I need a 'spoiler' - that purple is doing my eyes in whilst I try and decipher the last joke

 

[Archev]

View attachment 39848

Only took a h h h half hour to get that one

 

[Ian Key]

Help... I need a 'spoiler' - that purple is doing my eyes in whilst I try and decipher the last joke

 

[OriginalBigAl]

Nail, Patella, Palm, Rooster. ..... No, don,t get it..

 

[salty]

View attachment 39849View attachment 39850View attachment 39851View attachment 39852

Not brave enough, with the 4th pic, then.

 

[salty]

Only took a h h h half hour to get that one

Better than me. Didn't get it at all, until Ian,
told us.

 

[Everest]

But it's HAN not HAND

 

[decrep]

Have you listened to, "He's got the whole World in his Hans"
Maybe before your time?

 

[Archev]

Have you listened to, "He's got the whole World in his Hans"
Maybe before your time?

I prefer singers with long sleeves

 

[Everest]

I prefer singers with long sleeves

Really?

 

[Everest]

Have you listened to, "He's got the whole World in his Hans"
Maybe before your time?

Just! But that's "Hans"

 

[Archev]

Really?
View attachment 39854

Ha ha - I do make exceptions for the Best singers

 

[decrep]

Just! But that's "Hans"

Only the plural of han

 

[decrep]

Really?
View attachment 39854

I don't care what sort of sleeves Tina wears!!

 

[siteguru]

Just! But that's "Hans"

A guy walks into a restaurant and wants to eat squid. He calls the waiter over, whose name is Yervaise, and says 'I want that squid there', pointing at a little green squid with a hairy moustache on its top lip.

Yervaise says, 'but that's my favourite, I don't want to kill it, it's so mild and friendly'. But the customer is insistent, so Yervaise goes over to the tank, pulls out the squid and lays it on the worktop. He raises
a knife and is about to chop it up, but he can't. Yervaise goes back to the customer, and says he can't kill it, but the customer still insists that he wants to eat it.

Yervaise has an idea, and says 'OK, I'll go and get Hans, our dishwasher, he's a tough guy, he'll be able to kill it'. He goes and gets Hans, and Hans takes the knife and is about to chop the squid up, when it looks up. Hans sees its mild little face and its hairy lip and he can't kill it either, so they both go and tell the customer that they're really sorry and he can't eat it.

The moral of the story?... ..
Hans that does dishes is as soft as Yervaise with mild green hairy lip squid.

 

[Everest]

LOL... but don't give up the day job