Joke thread

[Micropop]

The Australian Labor party was established in a small town in mid Qld, Bercaldine.
It was formed by a group of very disgruntled shearers who were trying to get better conditions for the back breaking job they did, so a large group went on strike to pressure the Pastoralist to listen to their requests.
Instead, the Pastoralists brought in others who were less skilled and not part of the striking shearer group ..... all hell broke out in the main street of Barcaldine and the end the bloodshed, a group formed under a large tree out of the sun, later celled the Tree Of Knowledge, and formed a political party to fight for the rights of workers.
These people were not particularly well educated, when the paperwork was drawn up and the officials and supporters signed it, no one realised the spelling was wrong, until it was too late, so it has been the Labor Party ever since.

At the moment, they are the only party strong enough to govern in their own right, the Liberal Party is virtually non existent and the National Party (the party that was formed by the Pastoralists, extremely conservative) only hold 8 seats
For quite some time, the Nationals and the Liberal party formed a coalition and held power for a while, now even the cross benchers out number them in seats held in the parliament by coalition parties independently, if you consider the Qld Liberal National Party (LNP) 16 seats, and the Nationals 8 seats, the Liberals 18 seats, without them forming a coalition, the opposition party would be the Liberals, the Qld LNP and the Nats would be cross benchers .....

The Australian Labor Party (ALP) could hardly be considered a cowboy outfit .....

T1 Terry

Is this supposed to be a joke?

 

[Martinonline]

These people were not particularly well educated, when the paperwork was drawn up and the officials and supporters signed it, no one realised the spelling was wrong, until it was too late, so it has been the Labor Party ever since.

The Australian Labor Party (ALP) could hardly be considered a cowboy outfit .....

T1 Terry

Wikipedia's take on the name is different with the spelling changing back and forth over time and placing the final spelling on the printers the party used.

 

[decrep]

Is this supposed to be a joke?

Hey, this is Australia!
Things were rough and ready back then

 

[T1 Terry]

Wikipedia's take on the name is different with the spelling changing back and forth over time and placing the final spelling on the printers the party used.

I have been to Barcaldine and viewed ... probably a copy, of the initial paperwork that was signed by all supporting the formation of a party for the workers, and that was how it was spelt, hand written in fountain pen, so they must have had some sort of education to be able to write, and be able to handle a fountain pen ....

Anyway, back to the Funnies

T1 Terry

 

[Giller]

Given the last few posts:

A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar. The barman says, “Is this a joke?”

 

[T1 Terry]

Three blondes walk into a bar .... you'd think at least one of them would have seen it?

T1 Terry

 

[Giller]

A sock walks into a bar, the barman says "where's your other half?"

 

[Giller]

Michael Stipe walks into a bar.
The bartender says, “Wow, I love R.E.M.! I can’t believe you’re in my bar!”
Michael Stipe says, “I used to come here all the time.” He points to an old photo on the wall and says, “That’s me in the corner.”

 

[T1 Terry]

Police officer at the door:" I'm sorry to have to inform you, it has been 2 weeks and no leads of your wife's disappearance, I think you should prepare for the worst"

A tear rolls down the husband's cheek "Thank you officers, best I go down to the opshop to see if any of her clothes are still there ..... but I expect they all will be ....."

T1 Terry

 

[Giller]

Police officer at the door:" I'm sorry to have to inform you, it has been 2 weeks and no leads of your wife's disappearance, I think you should prepare for the worst"

A tear rolls down the husband's cheek "Thank you officers, best I go down to the opshop to see if any of her clothes are still there ..... but I expect they all will be ....."

T1 Terry

Aussie thing an opshop?

 

[T1 Terry]

A rabbit walks into a bar across from a construction site, orders a toasted sandwich and a schooner of beer.
The barman if dumfounded, you are a rabbit,
correct first go
you can talk
you are on a roll now
and you drink beer
I will if you ever get around to pouring me one .....
The rabbit sits up at the bar, eats his toasted sandwich and drinks his beer, says farewell to the barman and leaves .....

Same thing happens the next night, and every night for a month
The barman get's to talking with the rabbit, what brings you around these parts
I'm a plasterer working across at the construction site .... the barman just accepts this and life goes on

One day, the circus sets up in an oval behind the pub and the ringmaster comes in for a beer ....
Have I got an act for you, a talking rabbit that eats toasted sandwiches and drinks beer ...
The ringmaster hands him a card and tells him he's like to meet this rabbit

That night, sure enough, the rabbit walks in ....
Have I got an opportunity for you young rabbit. The circus is in town and the ringmaster would very much like to offer you a job
What, that place where they live caravans, put up a big round tent for few days, then pull it all down again and move on....
Yeah that's the place
What would they want a plasterer for?

T1 Terry

 

[T1 Terry]

Aussie thing an opshop?

An opportunity shop, usually run by the local church auxiliary but sometimes also a private run thing. You drop off unwanted clothing and furniture etc, they sort it and put it on racks or on display and sell it cheap to those that need it ....
Aussies are well for shortening things, the local Vinnies is the St Vincent De Paul Opportunity Shop

T1 Terry

 

[Giller]

An opportunity shop, usually run by the local church auxiliary but sometimes also a private run thing. You drop off unwanted clothing and furniture etc, they sort it and put it on racks or on display and sell it cheap to those that need it ....
Aussies are well for shortening things, the local Vinnies is the St Vincent De Paul Opportunity Shop

T1 Terry

Ah, got it, we have equivalents.

 

[T1 Terry]

Ah, got it, we have equivalents.

I thought we had strange names for shops ......

T1 Terry

 

[siteguru]

A rabbit had a craving for toasted sandwiches. Monday he had a ham toastie, Tuesday a cheese toastie, Wednesday a corned beef toastie.

Thursday he was feeling really poorly so went to the doctors. When he came back his mate asked him what was wrong .. Mixinmatoasties, said the doctor.

I'll get my

 

[Giller]

A pizza walks into a bar, the barman says "sorry we don't serve food here"

 

[Giller]

A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, “You better not start anything.”

 

[Giller]

Shakespeare the birthday boy walks Into a bar. The barman says " you'd better not make a scene"

 

[T1 Terry]

Three pieces of string walk into a bar. The first one goes up to the bartender and asks for 3 beers, the bartender stares at him and say, we don't serve beer to your type ...
Somewhat dejected, he tells his mates there will be no service, the second piece of string strolls up to the bar, leans on it and say, 3 beers please, the bar tender, stares at him and say, I told ya mate, we don't serve beer to pieces of string ....

The third piece of string twists his body into a contorted shape, roughs up his hair and heads to the bar, 3 beers please, the barman looks a bit confused and says, aren't you a piece of string ... frayed not was the reply, 3 beers please

T1 Terry

 

[Biker67]