Joke thread

[Ian Key]

 

[siteguru]

The reboot of Dr. Who scuppered all those Dalek jokes ... they were able to fly.

 

[MG Clive]

The reboot of Dr. Who scuppered all those Dalek jokes ... they were able to fly.

I know, just when we all thought we were safe upstairs in our bedrooms.

 

[Archev]

The reboot of Dr. Who scuppered all those Dalek jokes ... they were able to fly.

Nightmare

 

[Everest]

No way!... that's not right - but, then, I'm just old, having had my fix of Jon Pertwee in my younger years

 

[OriginalBigAl]

What's going on, half a dozen of you lot mention Daleks and now I've got Dalek videos coming up on my Youtube home page? even though I've not interacted to any of the previous posts.

 

[Ian Key]

What's going on, half a dozen of you lot mention Daleks and now I've got Dalek videos coming up on my Youtube home page? even though I've not interacted to any of the previous posts.

And you thought it was the Chinese taking over our tech......

 

[MG Clive]

What's going on, half a dozen of you lot mention Daleks and now I've got Dalek videos coming up on my Youtube home page? even though I've not interacted to any of the previous posts.

There's no escaping them mate, we can't even go upstairs anymore.

 

[Everest]

What's going on, half a dozen of you lot mention Daleks and now I've got Dalek videos coming up on my Youtube home page? even though I've not interacted to any of the previous posts.

No problem... you can always just hide behind the sofa when you click on you-tube

 

[Archev]

There's no escaping them mate, we can't even go upstairs anymore.

We’re doooomed I tell you, we’re all doooomed !

 

[siteguru]

 

[salty]

 

[T1 Terry]

View attachment 37511

Gotta be a British thing, even tuning a radio station or changing a CD is the equivalent of using a mobile phone over here ....

 

[Archev]

Gotta be a British thing, even tuning a radio station or changing a CD is the equivalent of using a mobile phone over here ....

I thought that was the case here too.

 

[Ian Key]

While it's not illegal to change a CD or navigate through menus etc. the police could prosecute you for careless driving if they consider you to not be in proper control of the vehicle, an offence which carries an on-the-spot fine of £100 and three penalty points.

 

[salty]

While it's not illegal to change a CD or navigate through menus etc. the police could prosecute you for careless driving if they consider you to not be in proper control of the vehicle, an offence which carries an on-the-spot fine of £100 and three penalty points.

I'd be very suprised if that's ever been, implemented.

 

[Gomev]

While it's not illegal to change a CD or navigate through menus etc. the police could prosecute you for careless driving if they consider you to not be in proper control of the vehicle, an offence which carries an on-the-spot fine of £100 and three penalty points.

* Pedant alert * - just for our non-UK members, we do not have on the spot fines in the UK like they do say in France where the police actually collect the money of you on the spot, but a fixed penalty notice is issued and you pay within a set timescale.

 

[T1 Terry]

Probably political and might be frowned upon .... but still too funny not to share

 

[T1 Terry]

The Old Rooster Joke

The old farmer is getting concerned that his old rooster Joe isn’t up to the job of keeping up with bigger flock of breeding hens he’s running now, so he decides to get a 3 more younger roosters.
The old farmer has always used data analysis when it came to culling and upgrading his hens, so he decided to use a bell system to track how the roosters were performing.
Each rooster had his own distinct bell sound, and old Joe was no exception. First thing in the morning, he let the 4 roosters have their way with the hens and sits down with his pad and pencil outside the shed, to keep score just by identifying the ring tones … he doesn’t want him being there to affect the results, experience learnt from the egg laying data collection.

Sure enough, there is frantic ringing from the 3 new roosters, but not a sound from old Joe’s bell ….. after an hr or so, still no sound from Joe’s bell, very disheartened, he enters the hen shed to gather up old Joe and do what needed to be done …. No free loading on this farm, even though the old farmer had become very fond of old Joe, and his numbers had been good up to this point ….. but data is data …..
When he enters the shed, he is shocked to find all 3 of his new roosters running backwards and forwards, chasing hens but not actually catching any to do the deed …… then he spots old Joe, bell held tightly in his beak and getting the job done on a somewhat startled hen, then onto the next ….

He is so pleased with how well old Joe had adapted to the challenge, he wrote an article and had it published in the fowl breeding Journal ….

Old Joe was awarded both the “No Bell Peace Prize” and the “Pullet Surprise” for his outstanding achievements …….



The morale to the story, with an old Rooster, you’ll still get shafted but at least be productive, with a squawking chicken, even eggs are out of the question

T1 Terry

 

[OriginalBigAl]

The Old Rooster Joke

The old farmer is getting concerned that his old rooster Joe isn’t up to the job of keeping up with bigger flock of breeding hens he’s running now, so he decides to get a 3 more younger roosters.
The old farmer has always used data analysis when it came to culling and upgrading his hens, so he decided to use a bell system to track how the roosters were performing.
Each rooster had his own distinct bell sound, and old Joe was no exception. First thing in the morning, he let the 4 roosters have their way with the hens and sits down with his pad and pencil outside the shed, to keep score just by identifying the ring tones … he doesn’t want him being there to affect the results, experience learnt from the egg laying data collection.

Sure enough, there is frantic ringing from the 3 new roosters, but not a sound from old Joe’s bell ….. after an hr or so, still no sound from Joe’s bell, very disheartened, he enters the hen shed to gather up old Joe and do what needed to be done …. No free loading on this farm, even though the old farmer had become very fond of old Joe, and his numbers had been good up to this point ….. but data is data …..
When he enters the shed, he is shocked to find all 3 of his new roosters running backwards and forwards, chasing hens but not actually catching any to do the deed …… then he spots old Joe, bell held tightly in his beak and getting the job done on a somewhat startled hen, then onto the next ….

He is so pleased with how well old Joe had adapted to the challenge, he wrote an article and had it published in the fowl breeding Journal ….

Old Joe was awarded both the “No Bell Peace Prize” and the “Pullet Surprise” for his outstanding achievements …….



The morale to the story, with an old Rooster, you’ll still get shafted but at least be productive, with a squawking chicken, even eggs are out of the question

T1 Terry

I got told off for cock jokes.....!