Joke thread

[LenEV2016]

What did the Siamese twins from Glasgow call their autobiography?

Oor Wullie.

(Scottish members will get the reference)

 

[LenEV2016]

What's the difference between Bing Crosby and Walt Disney?

Bing sings and Walt Disney.

 

[LenEV2016]

A Scot walks into a bakers and asks: "Is that a doughnut or a meringue?"

The baker responds: "Naw, ye are right it's a doughnut."

 

[MG Clive]

Some good old Scottish ones there @LenEV2016

 

[Archev]

Some good old Scottish ones there @LenEV2016

Ancestral actually

 

[Archev]

Don't worry, we'll visit ya.

No probs - they were where I left them - in the door lock

 

[T1 Terry]

Went through the Maccas drive-through the other day and bought a "Big Mac" ..... the mind wandered back to the days of the drive-through after a case of the munchies .... and then to the "Roach Clip" that ended up hanging off the keyring ... clever and subtle were not part of the thought process back in those days
I opened the burger box and immediately came up with a new best selling item, "The burger clip" so you don't bite your fingers trying to hold your Big Macca and eat it too .....

T1 Terry

 

[T1 Terry]

Kept that one in the Scottish Restaurant food line of thought

T1 Terry

 

[salty]

 

[chowbenter]

 

[Big Ears]

 

[MG Clive]

Morrisons had Easter Eggs in store last week (not a joke).

 

[Archev]

Morrisons had Easter Eggs in store last week (not a joke).

Left overs or pre orders ??

 

[Ian Key]

The local co-op is ahead of the game and selling mince pies in January.

 

[Rolfe]

Morrisons had Easter Eggs in store last week (not a joke).

A few Christmases ago I ended up snacking on mini Easter eggs on my way south to my friends' house for Christmas. That and a bag of crisps. It was just about all the petrol station had.

Changed days now.

 

[Ian Key]

Last year I went to my local co-op for some mince pies. They didn't have any but did have hot-cross buns.

 

[T1 Terry]

Tried the army disposal store again for some camouflage clothing ..... still can't see any, maybe they don't stock that stuff anymore, just lots of empty racks still

They didn't even have hot cross buns ..... what sort of store doesn't have hot cross buns in stock by Jan 1 ...... they did have some charity Christmas cake though

T1 Terry

 

[salty]

 

[T1 Terry]

Young woman goes door to door looking for cash work. Finds a bloke who will give here $100 to paint his porch, the paint and brushes are in the garage .... so off she goes.

At the end of the day, the young woman, paint splashes all over her, knocks on the door to say she has finish and there was enough paint for 2 coats ......

As she is putting the $100 down her bra, she turns to the bloke, by the way, that isn't a porch, it's a Ferrari .....

T1 Terry

 

[T1 Terry]

A photo of the new temporary Ferrari beside the Winnie