Joke thread

[T1 Terry]

Does that shop front sign say NEWS Take away ..... Do they have news over that way that can only viewed and spoken about on the premise?

The OFF LICENCE is interesting as well ..... that's taking the whole licencing thing a bit too far ..... "Hello, Hello, Hello you smell a bit off, I hope you have licence for that odor?"

T1 Terry

 

[LenEV2016]

Does that shop front sign say NEWS Take away ..... Do they have news over that way that can only viewed and spoken about on the premise?

The OFF LICENCE is interesting as well ..... that's taking the whole licencing thing a bit too far ..... "Hello, Hello, Hello you smell a bit off, I hope you have licence for that odor?"

T1 Terry

You won, you won everything!!!

 

[Everest]

Our friend decided to go on a wild back-packing holiday in remotest part of Australia. We warned him about the natives, the dangerous animals, but more importantly about keeping healthy on his days in the wild. He went anyway and we later heard that along a remote trail he met another hiker. "What's your name", he asked the hiker. "Terry" the other man said. "Ha ha", said our friend, "Terry's a girls name!" At that point, an angry Terry got out his gun and shot our friend dead. It is safe to conclude, therefore, that our friend died from dissin' Terry.

 

[MG Clive]

Our friend decided to go on a wild back-packing holiday in remotest part of Australia. We warned him about the natives, the dangerous animals, but more importantly about keeping healthy on his days in the wild. He went anyway and we later heard that along a remote trail he met another hiker. "What's your name", he asked the hiker. "Terry" the other man said. "Ha ha", said our friend, "Terry's a girls name!" At that point, an angry Terry got out his gun and shot our friend dead. It is safe to conclude, therefore, that our friend died from dissin' Terry.

That's a good one for our @T1 Terry

 

[LenEV2016]

That's a good one for our @T1 Terry

Would Terry shoot him before or after the weather forecast

 

[Black estate]

 

[T1 Terry]

That's a good one for our @T1 Terry

Can't belief an Aussie Terry would pull a gun and shoot him just for that, teaching him the hard way about swimming with crocs is another matter

The old trick of setting the yabby trap with meat that is well past its use-by date, taking the smart arse down and showing him how to set the trap, then taking him down a few hrs later and showing him how to pull the trap, empty and put it back in the same spot, adding a B/S line about throwing it just a bit further out and adding a rock to get a better throwing weight .... then send him down on his own while you boil the water up ready for the next lot, should be a lot more from the deep water ......
The scream and splashing shortly after just gets a " Who sounds like a Sheila now" as the croc does the death roll drowning him ..... A Terry-bull accident

A tip for anyone going yappy trapping in croc country, you never set the trap in the same place twice, crocs are ambush predators, they wait to see a pattern, set up and strike from the shallow water ......

T1 Terry

 

[OriginalBigAl]

Can't belief an Aussie Terry would pull a gun and shoot him just for that, teaching him the hard way about swimming with crocs is another matter

The old trick of setting the yabby trap with meat that is well past its use-by date, taking the smart arse down and showing him how to set the trap, then taking him down a few hrs later and showing him how to pull the trap, empty and put it back in the same spot, adding a B/S line about throwing it just a bit further out and adding a rock to get a better throwing weight .... then send him down on his own while you boil the water up ready for the next lot, should be a lot more from the deep water ......
The scream and splashing shortly after just gets a " Who sounds like a Sheila now" as the croc does the death roll drowning him ..... A Terry-bull accident

A tip for anyone going yappy trapping in croc country, you never set the trap in the same place twice, crocs are ambush predators, they wait to see a pattern, set up and strike from the shallow water ......

T1 Terry

Really!! , we are seeing a different side to you now, what's changed between January and February?

 

[T1 Terry]

Really!! , we are seeing a different side to you now, what's changed between January and February?

Might be the darker side of my humour sneaking out every so often

Do you get see the Aussie v Kiwi jokes over that way

T1 Terry

 

[siteguru]

Do you get see the Aussie v Kiwi jokes over that way

T1 Terry

Probably no different to our Englishman, Scotsman, Irishman jokes ... or the Newfie (Newfoundland) jokes told in Nova Scotia, Canada.

 

[T1 Terry]

A high ranking religious leader is walking along the beach when he sees a man struggling just out past the beakers. Next minute, two Aussies run down from the car park and dive into the water, one grabs the struggling bloke and the other plunges a gaff hook through a sharks head, each dragging their save with them .... The religious bloke runs down, hears the bloke they have rescued is a Kiwi, because he's speaking funny, he then looks at the two bronzed Aussies that have rescued him, and congratulates them for putting the rivalry behind them and blesses them all .... then carries of with his walk

One of the Aussies looks at the other and asks what that was all about. The other says the religious bloke was gods representative to Australia and blessed us for saving the Kiwi.
"He might be gods representative, but he knows nothing about shark fishing, how's the bait holding up"

T1 Terry