Joke thread

[JohnV6]

A bit of a clasic that one.

 

[Ian Key]

That's a belter.

 

[OriginalBigAl]

That one might be a bit beyond some of our readers @chowbenter

It took me three reads , I kept skipping , disregarding the first word . Any one else hoping they live long enough to see the imminent the Super Nova.?

 

[5teep]

Could be tomorrow!

 

[MG Clive]

Could be tomorrow!

Or in 10000 years.

 

[siteguru]

Or it might already have happened.

 

[5teep]

Just don't say the name 3 times.

 

[siteguru]

VW Beetle
VW Beetle
VW Beetle

Oops!

 

[Ian Key]

In that case then

Lottery win
Lottery win
Lottery win

 

[siteguru]

In that case then

Lottery win
Lottery win
Lottery win

Congratulations on getting 2 numbers and a free Lucky Dip ticket.

 

[MG Clive]

Beer maths:

90 beers, minus your age

Plus 35 more beers

Equals - The year of your birth!

 

[OriginalBigAl]

Beer maths:

90 beers, minus your age

Plus 35 more beers

Equals - The year of your birth!

The best thing about it is that next year you get an extra beer.

 

[chowbenter]

 

[m4rmite]

View attachment 40793

In the midlands you could change 2 hours, to 2 miles.

 

[siteguru]

In the midlands you could change 2 hours, to 2 miles.

Same for the North East But you have to be a local to be able to discern the differences (apart from the change in wording).

 

[T1 Terry]

Drive for 2 days from the east coast to South Australia, not only is it time you bought a better car, but most of the favourite processed food has a different name Devon becomes Fritz, salami becomes Mettwurst but lots of varieties, a Chelsie bun is a Belgian bun with icing on top, but has lemon curd inside and a Boston Bun isn't even heard of ..... a apple turnover is an apple strudel sort of ..... when you say it's like a standard pasty but with an apple filling and sometimes with whipped cream .... you just get strange looks and some look like they might throw up ......

A lot of the towns have two names, a German name and then the name on the map, creeks and rivers are similar, most of town names are pronounced nothing like they are spelt ..... but then NSW has a few good ones of those, so does Qld and Victoria, so they don't have that on their own
How would you pronounce Unanderra for instance

T1 Terry

 

[T1 Terry]

Time to buy a new car, don't even consider bring it to Australia, the trucks here would run you over .... much like the Texan rancher that said he could ride his horse all day and never reach the gate to the next paddock ..... the Aussie is heard muttering, "yeah, had a horse like that once" .....

T1 Terry

 

[decrep]

Hard to pronounce, what would you do with this one?
Mandjoogoorudap Drive.

 

[Ian Key]

Hard to pronounce, what would you do with this one?
Mandjoogoorudap Drive.

I bet the locals call it something like Mdap Drive

 

[decrep]

I've never heard a local pronounce it, I think they're all too embarrassed.