Joke thread

[salty]

Like posting each 3 word line separately ..... but wouldn't you get sick of licking stamps

T1 Terry

What's a Stamp?

 

[decrep]

What's a Stamp?

hold out your foot!

 

[salty]

hold out your foot!

Ouch!

 

[Ian Key]

What's a Stamp?

It's what you find in a fast ford owned by a boy racer. (ST amp)

 

[chowbenter]

 

[T1 Terry]

 

[T1 Terry]

 

[T1 Terry]

Studies have shown that you should never upset a woman, she can remember things that haven't even happened yet

T1 Terry

 

[T1 Terry]

I was reading an article about an artificial bee hive that has an entrance but no way back out ...... it was unbeelievable .......

Spoiler: spoiler for those who don't get it

Un-Bee=leave-able

T1 Terry

 

[LenEV2016]

I swallowed a load of maggots whilst out fishing…

Now I'm sitting in A&E with baited breath!

 

[LenEV2016]

Just started my Christmas shopping. I bought my wife a brand new refrigerator.

Can't wait to see her face light up when she opens it

 

[T1 Terry]

Gave in to the Apple product craze, bought the daughter a new i phone, the boy a new i pad and the wife an i ron, I hope they like them

T1 Terry

 

[T1 Terry]

I was reading an article about an artificial bee hive that has an entrance but no way back out ...... it was unbeelievable .......

T1 Terry

Come on, that was one of my better puns ..... it's not punny if I have to explain it

T1 Terry

 

[MG Clive]

I haven't seen my twin brother since I left Australia, unfortunately we were separated at Perth

 

[salty]

 

[LenEV2016]

What do you call someone who tells Dad Jokes but isn't a dad?

A Faux Pa.

 

[LenEV2016]

My mate set me up on a blind date.

He said, "She's a lovely girl, but there's something you should know. She's expecting a baby."

I felt like a right fudgeing **** waiting in the pub wearing nothing but a nappy!

 

[EVsince2016]

Well as this is the joke thread, I thought I'd tell you something that is a joke but maybe not a "joke"

My son's room was stinking of sewage, really bad. We cleaned his bathroom, checked his clothes, washed his bedding but it still stunk like a sewer.

I sat on the sofa wondering, did I install the drainage wrongly, is there a fault?

I then went in to check the source, and it was his shower, hmm maybe the shower drain needs a clean, opened it up and it was spotlessly clean. Sat and thought then



The shower trap is dry; it is not acting as a shower trap to stop the sewage smells coming up!

When did you last have a shower? Err maybe last Wednesday! It had dried out due to lack of use.

Problem solved.

Teenagers!

 

[salty]

 

[salty]